How to Attract a Man (Who Will Make You Happy for the Rest of Your Life!)

"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."--Somerset Maugham
An educated, successful, and attractive woman (we’ll call Jane) reports that she “really wants to get married.” When asked what she’s looking for in a husband, her response is a blank stare. She just wants a husband, she says. She’s already picked out her engagement ring.
Most of her friends are married or getting married, and she’s sick of her mother’s weekly calls announcing the weddings of her grammar school classmates. She’s tried speed dating and singles’ dances. She’s made plans for drinks, only to endure the humiliation of being stood up more than once. She’s had blind dates, which invariably end with her getting out of some man’s car and hoping he’ll call again. He usually doesn’t, and she wonders what is wrong with her. She never considers whether she even liked the guy.
She has made marriage her goal. She may achieve it one day, but she’d be so much better off if she made a happy marriage her goal. She must rub the vision of herself in a Vera Wang wedding dress out of her mind. First, she must determine the qualities she desires in a husband, and also exactly what she expects from marriage. Otherwise, she could end up with the wrong man. The consequences range from a life of misery to death at the hands of an abuser.
Another woman (we’ll call Pat) has been married for twenty years. Her husband buys himself presents for her birthday, like the soap dish and wine glasses he wanted but she didn’t. More insultingly, he gave her Dr. Laura’s new book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.
He has a rotten temper. Once, he threw their toddler’s Barney furniture off the back deck and smashed it into pieces because it cluttered the kitchen.
Pat complains that her husband monitors her spending relentlessly. He pitched a fit when she spent $2.95 on a pencil sharpener. He decides when the heat and air conditioning can run and at what temperature. One brutally hot day, he screamed at her for having the audacity to turn on the ceiling fan without his permission.
Pat maintains that her children love their father, but they don’t like him. They steer clear of him whenever possible, especially since his method of punishment is to lock them in a room and make them listen to Dr. Laura.
She and her husband both have good jobs, but she is “much better educated” than he. So, how did she get stuck with this creep?
Pat met him when she was 23. He was 29 and from another part of the country, which made him seem worldly. She was so flattered to be with an older guy, so caught up in having fun, that she forgot to take account of his values.
“He used to talk about how his grandfathers ruled the roost,” she says. “All the women in their family were beholden to their husbands. He even used to tell me the things his grandfather would do to his grandmother.”
This man told her flat-out that his family diminished women, but she was having too good a time to let it sink in. Twenty years later, she’s depressed, frightened, and unhappy. She has no self-confidence. Even though she has a good job, she is terrified to go it alone without her husband. She’s a prisoner.
Unless Jane raises her standards, she may find herself in Pat’s situation one day. She must stop being desperate. She should make a list of the good qualities she has to offer and read it whenever she starts to feel bad about not being married. She should make a list of the qualities she desires in a husband (“kind” should trump “rich”). Reading this list several times a day will help her attract men with these qualities.
She must stop viewing every guy she dates as a potential husband. She must observe a man coolly, rather than cling to him as if he’s the last bus out of the depot.
It’s critical that she listen carefully when a man talks about other women. Does he look up to his mother, or is does she still make his bed? Does he treat his sisters with respect, or is their main purpose in life making the potato salad? How does he talk about the women in his office? If his boss is female, does he resent her?
It’s key to see how he behaves among other men, as well. Is he always playing “top it” with the bigger car, the bigger TV, or the bigger whatever? If so, Jane should tread carefully. He’s insecure. Eventually, he’s going to take it out on her.
Women can learn much about a man by the way he drives. Does he tailgate? Does he weave in and out of traffic, or is he respectful of other motorists? Does he drive considerately in residential neighborhoods, or does he blaze through? Does he toss burger wrappers out the window at stoplights, or does he treat public property as he would his own?
It doesn’t matter whether Jane is 17 or 65. She must never make excuses for a man’s bad behavior because he might be her last chance. She must shut off the brainwashing machine. No woman ever has to get married! The single life can be fun and full of adventure. No woman should ever give that up for the wrong man. Marriage does not always equal happiness. Marriage does not always equal success.
But, if Jane plays her cards right, it could. Once she raises her standards for the men she’ll go out with, better men will appear. (This is a promise.) She won’t have to jump through hoops to find dates. The losers, abusers, and No-Show Joes she used to put up with will disappear. They’ll sense that she’s out of their league.
Jane will be on her way to finding not just a husband, but also a man who makes her happiness as important as his own.
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Dating Tips for the Shy Woman

Dating can be an absolute nightmare for shy people. You want to meet the right person, but you’re too scared to do anything about it.
Introductions—sticking out one’s hand and looking another person in the eye—can be terrifying. The brain locks up as you scramble to think of something relevant to say. You fall apart as soon as you’re asked what you do for a living. You stammer. The heat rises in your face and under your arms. You’re suddenly incapable of forming a grammatical sentence. You think to yourself, “Why would anyone care about me? I’m really not that interesting!”
Fear not. Many shy people have succeeded in meeting new people and forming lasting, happy relationships. With a little practice, you can too. Here are some tips for taming your social terror.
1. Prepare a pitch. The question, “So, Sally, what do you do for a living?” is bound to come up, so have a ready answer. No need to brag about capturing the company Tidy Break room Award; just state clearly what you do for a living and don’t apologize for it!
2. Ask questions. People love to talk about themselves (okay, except for people like you), so ask questions. Come up with a list before you leave the house, i.e., How did you get into that line of work? Where did you go to school? Have you seen the new Brad Pitt movie? And so on.
3. When you fumble, turn the subject to the other person. Whenever you find yourself longing to throw a blanket over your head and crawl off, try saying something like “And what about you?”
4. Listen to what the other person is saying! This is important. Instead of fretting about what you’ll say next, still the wheels of your mind and listen. If a man tells you about his weekend on the golf course, and you know absolutely nothing about golf, just ask him what he likes about it, how he got into it, etc.
5. Smile. People respond well to people who smile. No need to grin like an idiot, but a disarming smile will get ‘em every time. Smiling conveys friendliness and approachability. Show teeth whenever possible. Avoid looking like a figure at a wax museum by practicing in a mirror before you leave the house.
6. Breathe. Whenever you feel your heart racing, breathe deeply and slowly. If you really start to feel uncomfortable (your face has become so hot you could use it for a wok), excuse yourself and go to the restroom.
7. Compliment the other person. Sincerity is key, so find something you like and mention it. You may be freaked out by the idea of complimenting a man on his soulful eyes, so mention his watch, suit, tie, or even his shoes. No need to go overboard: “Nice shoes,” will do it.
8. Stay on top of current events. You don’t necessarily want to bring up your stand on Bush v. Kerry during a first meeting, but be able to discuss less controversial issues intelligently.
9. Remember the weather! Some people have the “gift of gab,” the ability to make strangers feel like they’ve known them forever. They are fearless about talking about the weather, gas prices, whatever. Shy people worry that talking about mundane things will make them appear stupid. But seemingly dull subjects like the weather affect everybody. People relate to them.
10. Hold your head up. It’s the simplest, most effective way to look confident. Good posture, coupled with that fabulous smile of yours, gives you a “winner’s vibe.” You’re guaranteed to be a hit!
Be warned: These tips will not help you if you don’t leave the house. It’s just too easy to watch a Friends rerun for the umpteenth time instead of meeting people, but I promise you that Prince Charming is never going to climb through your bedroom window.
Talking to strangers can be uncomfortable, but with practice it will surely get easier. If you have a bad night, congratulate yourself for making the effort. When you have a good night, understand that you earned it. Know that countless wonderful nights are on their way to you.
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Arguments - The Losing Side of a Relationship

Arguments - The losing side of a relationship -In the 34 years that I have been doing psychic counseling, it is only in the past 10 years that I have been involved with couples counseling. One thing I have noticed with many couples, whether those couples are a man and a woman, two women, or two men, is that there is often a lack of real and meaningful communication. This lack of communication causes small conflicts to become heated arguments where issues are not resolved because both partners are trying to make their points and are not even listening to what the other person has to say. Nothing can ever be resolved when one person raises his or her voice with what only appears to the other person to be demands. The effect of this is that the other person feels as if they are being scolded like a parent scolds a child and this causes the person to close up in a defensive posturing attitude where they don't listen to what the other person is saying. This intensifies the problem because when the person who is relating the problem area in their life feels that they are being shut out, or ignored, by their partner there is no meaningful dialog which allows a resolution to be achieved. The only resolution to the problem is for one or both partners to bring the subject up again, which might only create the same result. Instead of being resolved this issue now smolders like a hot ember, and this can make for an emotional forest fire!
The way I try to resolve issues like this is to teach couples how to discuss issues instead of just yelling and having the entire situation turning into World War III. There are several steps couples can take to have a good, open, and loving discussion, and to reduce the friction in their relationship by learning to resolve the very important issues that cause them to misunderstand each others feelings.
One of the most effective steps I teach couples is to express their anger, fears, aggravations, and concerns to their partner. This allows them the freedom of opening up without the fear of confrontation. It is a very simple method, but has certain rules which must be followed.
One of the ways I teach couples to do this is to encourage them to write a journal to document the issues in their relationship which they feel are causing problems. Detail is very important here. They must also devote an hour of uninterrupted time each week for open discussion. This discussion has to occur on the same day, and at the same time, and becomes a weekly ritual for the couple. During this hour, each of the partners has 30 minutes to read from their journal. While each partner reads their journal, the other partner cannot interrupt, or make any comments. After this hour, I encourage each partner to spend some time alone, and to reflect upon what they have just heard. They must also remember not to have any discussion about what has just been said. However, they can add some of this new information into their journals for the following week’s discussion. This method is not a quick fix for a troubled relationship, but most couples are amazed that after several months they are now working together to resolve the problems in their relationship.
One of the most complex interactions we face in life is the relationship with our partners. There is often some initial spark which brings two people together, but for a relationship to thrive it requires communication, cooperation, and compromise. This is only one of the many techniques which can be used to help couple resolve issues, but by teaching couples how to effectively communicate, it helps to strengthen the foundations of their relationship.
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The Best Places to Spray Perfume

Applying perfume has many purposes; it can be to smell better, attract a mate or to mask something an unpleasant smell. It is so widely used that the perfume business is growing bigger every day. Celebrities are endorsing brands and attaching their names to it. It is an ever expanding empire that will continue to soar as long as people can smell.
Perfume was first invented to mask unwanted smells, and it has been around since the days of Cleopatra. Back then, people used to use natural herbs and spices to smell nice such as vanilla beans and coconut. With climates in some countries being as hot as they were and without the help of deodorant, men and women were left to their own devices and invented ways to smell nice. The idea caught on and people began adding smells to their skin to smell better.
Perfume has also been widely associated with attracting a mate. When a couple go out on a date, adding perfume is a way to finalize the look. The make-up has been done, perfect outfit put on and a nice breeze of perfume is essential to feeling sexy and pretty. Often time`s girls will spray perfume on before they head out to bars to meet men. Some bathrooms even offer perfume machines in case you forgot to put perfume before you left the house.
Some people are afraid that if they are not wearing perfume that they will not be able to attract a partner. It can sometimes be a certain smell that attracts or detours a man away from a woman. Either he likes the smell or is frightened by it. Either way it might be best to pick a popular selling perfume if used for the intention of mate selecting.
Perfume can be sprayed in many areas. Some women spray it over their hair, although it can get in the eyes which may hurt and usually styling products in the hair smell nice already. Another place to spray perfume is on the neck. This place is popular because when a women gets close to a men he can smell the scent, the only down side is if he attempts to kiss the neck, in which case he might be turned off by the taste.
Dabbing perfume on the wrist has also been a popular place to add some scents. As you move your arms around the scent can trickle out and create a cloud of perfume as you walk. Some people also spray it on the outside of their clothes such as on tops and pants. This idea is smart because you don`t have to apply it right to the skin.
While anyplace is a good place to spray some perfume, there are places that are better than others. If perfume spraying is ahead of a date or romantic experience, it might be best to spray it in places that will not be kissed, if it is on just for fun, then spraying it wherever is another option as well. If you think you might be returning a piece of clothing or if you are borrowing someone`s clothes with or without permission, you might not want to spray it on clothes unless you plan on washing them before you give them back. Finding the perfect spots to add perfume is up to the person themselves.
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The Reason Why Women Wear Bras

To know whether that bra fits you, ask yourself. How do you feel? Do you feel certain tightness around your breast area? Or is the bra too loose? Every time you lift up your hands your bra follows to go up as well? From these few test, you will be able to judge whether the fit is correct or incorrect. Some bras have under wire and side panels, these can make you uncomfortable because if the fit is not correct, the under wire can poke into your breast tissue and the side panels will depress into your flesh and leave some red sore marks which can be very uncomfortable. Therefore, seek the advice from the professional when choosing your bra.
So, why do women wear bra?
Firstly, it is for support and prevents your breast from sagging. When doing an exercise, ladies with medium and big breast can feel painful especially when they are doing an active exercise such as running, jumping and many other active activities. Proper fit bras for medium and big breast is important here. Remember to give your breast some breeding space by removing your bra when you are at home or sleeping.
Whether you like it or not, gravity is always there so by wearing your bra everyday does not prevent sagging. Sagging still takes place eventually. Reason is that breasts has ligaments, and bodily ligaments can atrophy when not in use, same goes to the breast ligaments when under artificial support which is your bra, can result in increased sagging. If you put on an incorrect fitting bra, this will force your breast tissue to move away from its original place to your underarm, back or tummy, eventually giving you an out of shape breast.
Second, some ladies feel indecent for not wearing a bra. They feel that their breast is an organ that must be covered and hidden. There are some other ladies who feel sexy and proud of their breasts without a bra. These ladies will show as much as they can without bras on.
Some ladies will follow the Company rules on dress code therefore these ladies must put on your bra. It is the common reason for wearing a bra.
A nursing bra. New nursing moms will need to wear this nursing bra otherwise their milk will start to leak out onto their blouse and is very visible. Nursing bra can also cause breast engorgement or pain to the breast. Therefore, do place a towel beneath you during the night so the leakage can flow to the towel.
For those who refuse to have a strap over your shoulder and creating a weight on your shoulder, you can opt for a camisole or a silicon bra. It can hold your breasts looking very elegant and professional at the same time.
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